Dating Apps That Allow 16 Year Olds

6 min readSep 18, 2021

— — Question: A 13-year-old wants to start dating. How should parents approach this situation? (Consider children of both genders.)

Answer: When a family talks to me about having a young teenage daughter who’s interested in dating, I think about a couple of things. First of all, most 13-year-olds may be interested but aren’t interested in dating but aren’t actually interested in being on a date. And so I think it’s perfectly appropriate for her to become interested and having relationships with boys and being interested in the opposite sex but not necessarily wanting to spend time, dating like you would think about a 16- or 17-year-old dating.

I’m torn on this one. First question — why would he need to use a dating app? At his age he’s still in high school (Grade 11 maybe) and, unless he’s at an all boys school, he should be surrounded by girls his own age. Second, I wasn’t aware that t. The law goes on to spell out that ‘if the victim is at least 14 but less than 16 years of age and the person convicted of statutory rape is 18 or younger and is no more than four years older than the victim, such person shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.’ This means that a 17-year-old convicted of having sexual contact with a 14-year-old in.

The other thing that happens is sometimes there are 13-year-olds out there who actually look like they’re 16 or 17 and are engaging in this kind of interest simply because they’re getting a lot of attention from older boys. It makes a big difference what the issue is in terms of how a parent should respond.

For parents of a normally developing 13-year-old who is interested in the opposite sex, group activities are probably the best way for that 13-year-old to get comfortable with herself in the company of boys, and for parents to feel like they’re not discouraging her interest but also not providing access or over-supporting, if you will, her interest in dating.

For that 13-year-old who looks more like she’s 16 and is getting the attention of older teenage boys I think sometimes a closer relationship with that teenage daughter — with her mother and her father — is probably the best antidote. Because the teenage daughter really needs to know that the most important relationships in her life are really her parent’s relationship with her rather than the boyfriend.

If there is some problem in the parent child relationship it’s not uncommon for these somewhat mature appearing 13-year-olds to seek supported interest in the opposite sex. And sometimes for this age group that ends in problems that most families really wouldn’t want to have to address over time.

Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps out there and some children have used it. Here’s what parents need to know.

My child uses Tinder — now what?

We often assume the online dating world is strictly adults only, but as it turns out this isn’t always the case. Because credit cards are normally age-restricted, paid dating services are fairly effective at keeping out underage users — but lots of dating sites and apps are free and don’t have such robust checks.

Some dating services allow under-18s to join. Tinder was one of them until recently, with 7% of its users aged between 13 and 17 (outnumbering 35 to 44-year-olds).

Tinder is officially 18+ now, but as most parents are well aware, age limits aren’t foolproof. If you discover your child has a Tinder profile, what should you know — and what can you do?

First things first: what is Tinder?

It’s a free online dating app. Users sign up with Facebook and are matched based on location, mutual friends and shared interests. One of its most distinctive features is the way you show interest in other users — swiping right on their profile. It has a reputation as a ‘hook up’ app, but many users will tell you this is undeserved.

Tinder’s minimum age was 13 until June 2016, when they announced plans to make the service 18+. The previous age limit was heavily criticised, with some arguing it could put teens at risk and expose them to inappropriate contact. The app’s VP of Communications has since called raising the age limit ‘the right thing to do.’

Tinder still relies on users’ Facebook information for age verification, so under-18s who have an incorrect age listed on Facebook may still be able to sign up.

What can I do if my teen has joined?

If your child is using Tinder and you’re not happy about it, the best thing for you to do is to speak to them about it directly. Because Tinder is now 18+ their potential matches will be mostly adults, so it’s especially important to explain your concerns and talk to them about staying safe.

It’s safest for under 18s to avoid online dating, but if you do discover that your teen uses Tinder, here are some things for you (and your child) to keep in mind:

If your child is under 18, signing up will mean lying about their age. Most adults on Tinder are there to match with other adults and won’t want to start a friendship or relationship based on dishonesty.
Meeting new people online is risky, especially for young people. Anyone of any age should be very careful how much personal information they reveal online. Because Tinder links up with Facebook, anyone who uses it should check all their privacy settings on Facebook to make sure they’re not revealing too much. Click here to find out how to set these up.
Some adults use the internet to build relationships with young people in order to abuse them online or meet them in real life. You can read more from NCA-CEOP about how online grooming works and how best to protect your child here.

There are other dating apps that are popular with young people at the moment, including MyLOL, Meet Me and Snog (yes, we know, they are TERRIBLE names). We will be looking at them in more depth soon.

NCA-CEOP’s advice on meeting online friends in the offline world

If your child does meet someone online (on Tinder or any other site, even one specifically for teens), it’s always risky to meet up with them face to face. If you think your child is considering meeting up with an online friend, you might want to remind them of the dangers and share these common sense rules for staying safer from NCA-CEOP:

Always meet and stay in a busy public place.
Do take a trusted, responsible adult with you, not a friend. If the person you’re meeting with isn’t being honest taking a friend will put you both at risk.
Make sure a friend or family member knows who you are meeting, where you are going and when you’ll be back.
If your instincts tell you something is wrong, it probably is. If the person you meet doesn’t look like the person you’ve been talking to leave as soon as possible.
Don’t accept a lift from the person you’re meeting.
Stay sober.
Take your mobile phone, keep it switched on and topped up with credit.
Your personal belongings can be stolen, don’t leave them unattended.